feel a little less

feel a little less...
i feel a little worse
than i did when we first met...
if that's doable,
and it is now i guess...
i'm under the table
and drifting into an
appropriate abyss -
you upset my passion
tonight and shorten
my intent -
i was not lost in this
just to find again you
still have the ropes -
but i catch your eye
when you're descending
into this mad season...
this is where we begin again -
but i'm not where you left me -
you are not the man
i thought you could be -
what do you love more
than this i ask and if
she can't make you
feel bigger than her
you say you will find
it in some love past -
you promise
without any words,
they are not clear
for me -
did you lose your way
or your directions
or your pedestal
on your way home tonight?
showed all your cards
then made apologies
that i don't even
need from you anymore

a word please